What Tony Stark Said *Next*!

Slowpoke here finally got around to finishing the SIEGE mini-series, which brought to a thankful end the Norman Osborn Crazy Days uber-story that's been running through the Marvel Universe for the last thirty years or so. I enjoyed it, since it understood it had to be both emotional and feature lots of punching. It did both, even if the set-up for the next big thing, THE HEROIC AGE, felt tacked on at the end. (Seriously, they would have a wine and cheese party the same day that Asgard fell, Thor kills the Sentry, and untold Asgardians were murdered? Maybe not wait until the weekend?)

What really caught my attention, though, was what happens to Avengers Tower.


When the Sentry joined the team, he slapped this goth Christmas celebration on top of the Tower, since he's the Sentry and he can bloody do whatever he bloody well feels like. I liked the glowing ball on top, and liked how the shape was vaguely unsettling. But now that the Sentry is dead(ish), the bauble is gone. Thor apparently thought the Tower was lacking a certain je ne sais quoi, so he slaps up a piece of Asgardian masonry on top of the building. He makes a speech about how it symbolizes the connection between Earth and Asgard, since the superheroes went to bat to try and save Asgard, and he really appreciates it, so here's some masonry.

To my mind, it looks ridiculous. But the story ends with everyone thinking it's cool, or at least not saying anything to Thor. I mean, the guy's had a bad day, let it ride.

But this lead me to thinking about what happened next. After the party, after everyone had gone home to write HEROIC AGE STARTS NOW on their kitchen calendars....

TONY: Jarvis, can you come here for a second?
JARVIS: Sir.
TONY: Hey, how ya doin'?
JARVIS: As well as can be expected, sir. What with the Skrull business, and all that unpleasantness that followed, and my gout has been ac---
TONY: Hey, I hear ya. Hey, you see that thing Thor slapped on top of the Tower there?
JARVIS: Hard to miss it, sir.
TONY: What do you think of it? I mean, complete honesty.
JARVIS: I believe it is a pillar from the Asgardian Battle Vaults, sir, one of the few remaining intact pieces of Asgard. I think Master Thor has honored us in ways we--
TONY: Yeah, I don't like it, either. It's like he had this thing laying around, and had to put it somewhere.
JARVIS: One would think we would be honored, especially in light of certain people's activities over the last two years...
TONY: Yeah, well, I noticed too that Carol Danvers was a little cold to Thor. Didn't even hug him or anything. Come to think of it, she didn't hug me either when I saved everyone from Osborn by destroying my brain. I think that deserves a least a little sugar.
JARVIS: Sir--
TONY: So, look, here's the thing. I can't take down that rock without Thor getting all huffy and puffy, all thees and thous shall not, so I want you call this designer I know in L.A. Have her sex it up a bit. Throw some lights on it, have them flash in Kree or something. Something about peace and friendship. Or Kim Kardashian's phone number. I don't care. No one except internet dweebs speak Kree, anyway.
JARVIS: If that is what Sir wishes...
TONY: Yeah, it totally is. And make the lights blue. That will look awesome at sunset. And hey, before you go, I didn't see Natasha here tonight. You give her a call, tell her I want to have breakfast with her in Paris tomorrow, and we can leave tonight?
JARVIS: (sighs) Of course, sir. Anything else?
TONY: No, that will be enough for now. Oh, have you seen my copy of Cigar Aficionado anywhere?
JARVIS: The bathroom, sir. Good to have you back, sir.
TONY: Totally.