It's a sure signpost on my not-so-gradual metamorphosis into Shuffling Recluse Who Collects Newspapers and Cats, but the above phrase keeps getting stuck in my mental grill. To the point where when I hear it, I actually have to bite my tongue.
I fucking hate it.
Every six months or so, certain phrases creep into the vernacular and stay there like a case of conversational herpes. And it's always the same people who adopt them, the way they adopted those bullshit plastic shoes--Crocs?--or felt the Olympics were a great thing for Canada. The same people who run out and spend grocery money on Vancouver 2010 tat, just so they can feel connected to something. Right now, that phrase is 'But You Know What?'
Having watched those who use this phrase the most, I can see why they love it. It's perfect for the Me!centric generation. It serves the same purpose as saying 'Fuck you and what you said, I want to talk now.' Take a look.
SHEEPLE A: And so I was like so surprised with what happened on The Bachelor last night, like you know I totally didn't see him choosing that way. I thought she was a total tramp."
SHEEPLE B: "But you know what? I was watching Jersey Shore last night, and it was soooo good."
Insert 'Fuck you and what you said, I want to talk now' in the place of ' But you know what?"--and it is at least more truthful.
This sugarcoating of Fuck you serves their egocentric needs by allowing them to shoehorn their own interests in without having to actually have to utilize the niceties of polite conversation. The phrase itself is meaningless--interjecting to ask someone if they have personal knowledge without specifying anything as remote as subject matter. (One could say it relies on inference, but it rarely does.) It serves simply as giant boulder to redirect the flow of speech their way.
Don't believe me? Look around you this week. See who is using that phrase. I'm sure it bounces off the walls of any Starbucks with the speed of a jai alai ball.
And yes, feel free to start all your posts with 'But you know what?" I expect no less.
9 comments:
Well thanks for pointing out this phrase that, until now, had not bubbled up into my consciousness. Fucker.
I sense anger. I'm perceptive that way. I was thinking we should get together for a coffee, but I'm thinking you may need something stronger.
Here are a few more that make me want to stomp bunnies and punch smiling faces:
At the end of the day...
That's what SHE said!
No worries.
It's all good.
All that aside...
My bad.
You have poured salt on an already open wound.
But we have both been remiss in not listing....irregardless.
I think anyone who uses that should be slapped *and* fined.
Weird--I was going to call you for a coffee today, but decided to sit and fume instead.
We must get together some Friday morning and play my new drinking game.
We tune in Jeff McArthur's 'Roundtable Discussion' on Radio 980 with Jeff, Dan Brown and Cheryl Miller. And sometimes another guest.
Everytime someone says, 'Yeah, well you know what?' we down a shot of our beverage of choice.
And whoever gets the closest to guessing how many times Dan utters that phrase during the hour wins the pool.
And if Dan manages to work 'well you know what' into the same sentence TWICE, that means you get to chug the rest of your beverage of choice right then.
Only seasoned drinkers manage to get to the bottom of the hour before throwing up or going on the nod.
But it's all good. Because you know what? I really love you guys.
But you know what, I hate it when I'm told to "sharpen my pencil" when all that greedy fuck wants is more of my tiny profit.
Count me in for that game, Sonny. I think the only way one can listen to Jeff McArthur is by being drunk, or having just experienced a frontal lobotomy.
Sadly, McArthur is the best thing on London radio at that time. Unless CHRW is experiencing feedback.
Just sayin'
Look, I'm just saying, at the end of the day, it is what it is. That being said, it goes without saying that we're between a rock and the end of our rope.
David - you're headed down a slippery slope.
I think anyone who uses that should be slapped *and* fined.
Unless his name is Homer Simpson. He pulled it off.
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