I have been waylaid since Friday with a virus whose origin I suspect is from a less than sterile laboratory, probably buried deep within a mountain range. I also feel that a tinkling of a test tube, a quiet 'Oh, fuck!' also plays a part in its long path to my own biology.
And yet, with all of life's sweet inconveniences, there is something to be gleaned from this. I have spent most of this time alone, staring at the lunar terrain stucco of the ceiling, thinking.
One of my many conclusions that have been half formed in my head is that you tend to feel a bit adrift at 44 without children. I have many friends with families, a fact I tend to forget when I call them to discuss the latest gaming news I've just heard. You rush through your twenties and thirties, doing your best not to be thrown back into poverty, doing your best to achieve something, but now, it all really does seem less than worthwhile, whose only merit was as illusory as its supposed importance.
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Tomorrow night is another launch of yet another London arts magazine, filled with the usual suspects in London's writing community. I'm going only to accompany a friend, because deep down I really, truly, don't give a shit. Just another collection of egos, telling themselves that what they're doing is vital to a city that has proven time and time again they don't give a veritable rat's ass for anything or anyone in London involved in the creative arts. I feel the most for the younger writers, or those who see this as their path to finally getting published, and maybe starting their long dreamed of career. I know many people who start magazines in this city mean well, but many of them don't, and have only their own interests in mind. My own experience has proven that trying to get paid for work done in this town is like pulling teeth from a duck. And, coincidentally,it's always the same characters involved.
If you want to write, then do it for yourself. Set up a blog. Get the word out about yourself. Hang posters from telephone poles with your website if you want. Add the link to your blog to your emails. Write your fiction or articles and try to sell them to people who will pay you. Don't do it for free, or without a contract. This is my advice, harsh as it may sound. If someone is charging for a magazine and/or is receiving advertising that you have worked for and say they can't pay you, then walk away. Start ups depend on the hopes and naivete of young writers, who will happily wave away payment to get published. This isn't the way to start your career, or to respect your gift.
And yes, that was a harsh post. I just really have nothing new to say about Dragon Quest V at the moment.
7 comments:
Not too harsh at all, really.
Rather sound, in my opinion.
'lunar terrain stucco ceiling' - not all bad either.
GAH
Call me naive (you're naive!) but one of the reasons I took over theatreinlondon.ca a couple of years ago---from Jeff Culbert, who'd been running the site for many years previous---is because, despite the prevailing apathy in this city when it comes to the arts and "creative"ness, there is a small community out there. I've never taken part in a theatre production other than as a patron (in both senses), don't make any money from the site or plan to (including not taking advertising and not charging for event listings), and try to treat all comers equally whether they're the 127th high school production of "Rent", a first-time playwright putting on a zero-budget show with her buddies, or a "Broadway in London" show at the JLC.
We've got some amazing artists in town who are recognized across the country and continent for their work. That they're still here in many cases speaks to their dedication to the craft, not to being popular. (Some of them couldn't self-promote their way out of a wet paper bag... which I say with love and acknowledgement, because that's not exactly one of my strong points either.) And the audience that is interested is very interested; yes, there are only six of us, but still.
Completely agreed on your "do it yourself" paragraph. That's exactly what our independent theatre community is doing, and very well.
Personally, I thank Odin every time you call. It's great to hear from someone who has been outside, has seen things, gone places, and not just the kid-friendly ones.
Peter, we do have a very talented group of people in this city. I'm thankful to know many of them, and I know firsthand the sacrifices they have made to do what they love. What always makes me shake my head is how Londoners only appreciate their own once they leave the city and become well known elsewhere. Then we name parks after them. Stick around this town and work your magic? Then you're just a hippie bum who should get their ass into a MBA program toot de fucking suite.
Good luck with the theatre site.
And thanks to Gord and David--your words are too kind to a writer jacked up on flu medication.
Oh my - where to start? I guess I'll echo David's sentiments (always a pretty safe bet). I'll never have 'the gift', but I am richer for knowing those that do. And that, my friend, is not even close to illusory.
Interesting comment about 'feeling adrift at 44'. I can't ever remember *not* feeling slightly that way. Perhaps we could call it Billy Pilgrim syndrome? And it's been a little stronger lately as Dee and I become dimly aware that the kids are becoming their own people with their own lives (gasp!). I'm beginning to wonder what I'm supposed to be (beyond a sometime-chaffeur with a bigger bank account than theirs).
Maybe GAH has room for us all in his workshop?
Hey Sean, don’t be such a “negative Nancy.” Writing to promote the arts is vital to the city of London, even if the act itself often seems to go unrecognized. As the “starter” of a couple of magazines, and a supporter of others, I know many people who write about the arts because they care. As for getting paid for work done, my experience is more like pulling teeth from shark – sometimes you get bitten (and I certainly have) but after all, there are a lot of teeth. And if someone who is charging for a magazine or receiving advertising revenue says they can’t pay you, don’t just walk away, run, run, as fast as you can!
I admire your tenacity, Beth, and I wish you the best with the magazine.
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