Jim Dandy's On Fire!

My word! The mad genius over at Jim Dandy Goodness is writing up a hella storm these days. In order to stop his attempt to take over the entire Innnernet with his dangerous thoughts and plans, I must do my bit.

So here goes.

I'm laying on my couch, in my usual Wednesday evening middle aged haze. Thinking of how I really blew my chance with Lisa back in 1983 backstage in Theatre Arts, and how things would be so different now if I'd only worn Old Spice that day.

Then Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom appears on my TV. And I remember: what a terrible film. Then I realized that of the Indiana Jones trilogy, I only really liked the first one. And now here I was, getting excited about this Crystal Kingdom thing. Even though it has that annoying kid from that Transformers film that I also hated.

Then I see Short Round. I feel myself start to bleed inside, an old wound reopening.

At that point Vulcan Ninja enters the room. She stares at the screen. She has never seen Temple of Doom. She was too busy smoking , listening to Iron Maiden, and being a hot chick back then.

"Oh my God," she says, staring at the antics and hilarity that is Short Round. "It's fucking Jar Jar."

I looked at her with more awe than usual.