So I called Vulcan Ninja on Wednesday while she was at work.
"Are you going to be near downtown today?"
"I could be."
"Would you mind picking up Spider-Man for me?"
Pause.
"Why don't you do it Friday? It'll give you something to look forward to."
"Okay. Sure."
"No, it's okay, I'll do it. But didn't Spider-Man just come out last week?" A tone of fatigue has now entered her voice.
My wife has never understood why anyone would buy more than one book of any character. If you like Batman, you either pick up Batman or Detective. Buying more than that, in her mind, is just being an idiot. Imagine the fun we had when I was buying three X-Men books a month!
Back to the conversation. Here I am, trying to explain. Speaking faster, feeling slightly embarrassed, for some reason.
"No, it's that it's coming out three times a month now."
" What, like Webbies of Spider-Man, Really Cool Spider-Man?"
She's getting into it now. She knows this is a wound. Once upon a time, I tried to explain that there were subtle narrative differences between Amazing Spider-Man and Spectacular Spider-Man. Her eyebrow arched, and has never really come down.
"No, they're all just called Amazing Spider-Man now, and--"
"So which one is this? Spider-Man Fucks Off?"
Then she bursts into laughter.
I didn't reply, because how could I?
She still picked it up, though, so I guess the marriage is still slightly viable.
4 comments:
Spider-Man Fucks Off. Oh my wallet. I almost woke up we-me with my laughter. We really should not get our wives together; they are going to do a team-up and mock us mercilessly.
Oh well.
As long as the sex is good, it's all worth it.
Or at least that's what her mother tells her!
Bad news. I badly recounted this post to my wife on the way back from the airport. She cackled and said that she couldn't wait to meet the Vulcan Ninja, and that I would be sorry. Hah! Just wait till she sees how much I spent on cheese and beer when she was away!
Oh crap. I am in trouble now.
David: A humiliation shared is...well..still pretty humiliating. I find quoting Lear occasionally helps--"Question not the need!", but that only gets you so far.
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