Dreams Do Come True: Spice Girls Reunite

OmigodomigodomigodomigodomigodOMIGOD!!

And if anyone still disagrees the Spice Girl movie isn't the best film ever made in the history of the making of films with singers in them, then I shall disagree with them.

Never Fails

So,I guess it's safe to say that I did manage to land the OutFront CBC contract to do a segment on MMOs and possible gaming addiction. So yesterday, the CBC couriered me all this sweet tech to actually make the segment. What could possibly go wrong?

On Sunday night, I became terribly ill what would turn out to be a bowel obstruction. So yesterday I was rushed to Emergency, and spent all of yesterday hooked up to IVs and being pumped with painkillers. The hospital--which is packed--thought about keeping me in over night, but decided I'd rest better at home (although I had grown fond of the older woman shouting about her garden in the bed beside me). So home I go, muttering that I can't miss Doctor Who, even though I have the episode on tape. Cheryl, as always, was superb, holding onto my hand while I slept, talking to the doctors and being my Ninja Guardian.

So now I'm staggering around here, trying not to fall back asleep. I have that foggy headedness that comes from Demerol and no food, having the comforting thud-thud of tennis balls being hit in Wimbledon pumped through the home system to keep me connected to the world.

It never fails. Just when you think things are all right, something has to go wrong. A universal constant. But at least we live in Canada--I'm sure yesterday's procedures ran in the thousands. Sometimes, being Canadian does have its benefits.

Game Chatter and Coolness

It's really odd not going into comic stores on Fridays any longer. I still go downtown on Fridays, but am not really sure why. Apparently, my no longer buying comics has led to children of store owners being taken out of private schools, and there are rumours a few jets have to be sold, but what can I do?

But this does free me up to spend more time at one of my favourite places in London: the News Depot. This place is a treasure, since once it's gone, we'll never see it's like again. There is no money in carrying magazines, and no real incentive to do so, since magazine companies want readers to subscribe and not buy off the rack, even though such sales are the lifeblood of many families. So, whenever I can afford it, I like to go into the News Depot, wave to one of the members of the family running the till, and enjoy another lost art: browsing.

This week I picked up this month's issues of PC Gamer and Wired. Since I gave up the four colour crack, I've been catching up on issues of New Scientist, trying to make my neurons bang around quantum theory, the dissemination of Galapagos island tortoises, and just how well and truly fucked we are when it comes to the environment, so I thought I deserved some lighter reading for the weekend.

I used to be a rabid devotee of PC Gamer, up until I discovered how they 'make arrangements' with game companies to put their upcoming games on their covers. I was perhaps a little Pollyanna about this, but I thought a game company would be overjoyed to be on the cover of a magazine--I hadn't realized some of them were paid for it. This led to me taking a dim view of PC Gamer's 'preview' pages, which began to look a lot like advertisements and not what it should be: a critical look at a product written for a potential consumer. So I stopped buying it.

But I did miss some of the writers there, namely Desslock's always superb RPG column, Alternate Lives, and the reviews section. So when I saw Starcraft II on the cover ( I won't think about how that happened), I picked it up.

The Starcraft article was quite good,with a decent summation of the game for those who haven't played it, and a nice review of some of the new things we'll see in the upcoming game. The review of Lord of the Rings: Shadows of Angmar really makes me want to sell the car so I can upgrade the computer to play it, but I think such an action would result in divorce papers. It does look good, though. (Who would have thought, David, that the book we read way back in Delaware, in those halycon days of cornfields, beautiful twilights and surrounding, adventure filled forests would now be something we could virtually walk through, watching the sun set and the forests sway there? Sometimes I really do love the 21st century.)

The review of the Tomb Raider Anniversary game was also good. Lara's overemphasized chest--which was a drawpoint for the game ten years ago, along with the nude mods, no matter what anyone says--has been replaced with a much more realistic and beautiful character model. I remember playing the original game, which I found buggy as hell, but this one actually looks good, too. Damn it! Why can't I be independently wealthy?

Desslock's column on using celebrities for voice work in RPGs made a point I've always felt: why? I mean, when I played Everquest II, I didn't know Sony had shelled out cash to Heather Graham to voice NPCs. So if it wasn't advertised, and I didn't notice, why do it? Patrick Stewart does six lines in Oblivion? The amount of money spilled for that could be money used to work on the game itself. Desslock points out that using celebrities actually serves to take the player out of the game, so again it seems to be counter-productive. Which brings me to the issue of voice work in RPGS itself.

Since beloved wife is now playing Neverwinter Nights on the PC, I've been thrown back to the consoles for my gaming fix. So last night I returned to Jade Empire.



It's another Bioware game, which is always a sign of quality and good times. (Knights of the Old Republic remains one of my favourite games of all time ever and forever.) But if there's a drawback here, it's the amount of yakking that goes on. Yak yak yak! I understand the need to fully create a world, but last night I easily spent forty minutes just sitting there, clicking through line after line of dialogue. To their credit, Bioware mixes it up by switching from English to Mandarin, and yes, I do have a much deeper understanding of the world of Jade Empire than I did yesterday morning, but damn! In two hours of game time, I had only three fights.

Yeah, I know. If there was no mythology, I'd probably not play it. But a little more asskicking would be nice. Still, Dawnstar is a hottie, so at least I get to watch her while everyone works their jawbones to dust.

Anyway, this has nothing to with games, but it's awesomely cool. This is the Northern Lights seen from space. Awesome, no?

Like So. See?

Yes, Smith and Jones--the first new episode of Doctor Who Season 3--is a delight. And here's why.

This was a far stronger 'companion introduction' piece than Season One's Rose. This time, we don't have to waste time getting to know who the Doctor is, and the story can spend far more time on Martha. Right off, we see we have someone both akin to Rose and worlds away: while Rose lived on a council estate and worked as a shop girl, Martha is at the other end of the financial spectrum, but is using her wealth for humanitarian reasons: she's a medical student, just that close to being a doctor in her own right.

As for Martha, it's hard not to love her. She's smart, she's brave, and isn't terribly thrown by finding herself on the moon. Unlike most companions in Who history, she's not coming into a world that includes aliens in complete ignorance: she's well aware of the alien attacks seen in previous seasons. This is a first in the show--the amnesia that seemed to attack everyone on Earth after an alien invasion in the old series isn't here. (We get that in Torchwood!) It's refreshing.

I've often said that this new series owes an awful lot to the Virgin and BBC novels, and now we can add 2000 A.D to that list. There actually is an old 2000 A.D. story that is very similar in some respects to this episode, but we'll let that go: the homage to Judge Dredd (the Judoon--space rhinos with an adherence to law and quick justice not seen this side of Mega City One in too long a time)makes the homage work even more.

Another trick from the novels was a more complex use of time travel--sometimes, the Doctor would spend months going back and forth in time to make his climatic victory weeks previous actually work. Here, we have a time paradox where Martha meets the Doctor before the Doctor actually meets her for the first time. On the surface, it's a 'cheap trick', as the Doctor calls it, but it also set up a potential paradox that meant the Doctor had to go back in time so as to not break his own timeline. If Martha hadn't mentioned meeting him, the universe might have exploded. Or something.

We also see more of the Doctor's grief over losing Rose. If we're to believe him, he spent fifteen years delivering mail after his adventure in The Runaway Bride. Add to that time the Doctor spent searching the universe for a star he could destroy in order to say goodbye to Rose, and we have a man who mourns for a very, very long time. Yet he's very quick to let Martha know she's not a 'replacement', even when he goes out of his way to convince her to accompany him in the TARDIS. It was a nice bit.

The defining point in the relationship between the Doctor and Rose was that they were very much in love with one another. (You could see this in any episode, but most especially in The Satan Pit and The Empty Child).They weren't lovers in any physical sense, but were happy to spend the rest of their lives together. Here, the Doctor and Martha begin as good members of a team, despite Martha's flirtations. The way the Doctor shuts her down when she makes any sexual comment shows how afraid he is of getting close again. Again, we haven't seen this before: the Doctor still hurting from loss, fifteen years on.

A great, fun episode. Next week? Shakespeare, witches, and Martha looking even more hot. Good times.

Nerd Clinginess in Guild Wars

So I'm still enjoying my time in Guild Wars, and stayed up far too late last night playing it. Last night, I played my necromancer, Lil Lovecraft,(who I've made to look like the female singer from Human League as per the Don't You Want Me, Baby video--yes, I know how sad that sounds).

Some of the visuals have been simply breathtaking. I've been adventuring in the Catacombs near Ashford Abbey, and the falling light through the walls, the crumbling masonry, and even the unexpected surprise of hearing a clacking sound as Lil walked--I looked down to see she was walking on a glass floor--is just wonderful. My hat--had I been wearing one--would have been taken off, though, for a cavern filled with candles, all flickering quietly in the gloom while a body lay in the circle of light. Just creepy, but a good creepy.

So, one of the points of Guild Wars is to overcome a gamer's innate sense of antisocialness and join a guild. So last night I thought I'd try. I entered into general chat that I was looking for a guild. Threw caution to the wind.

An elementalist comes straight up to me. Offers to let me join his guild.

"What's your guild name?" Lil asked.

"RWG."

At first, I thought it was some gamer lingo that I was unaware of.

Rangers With Guns? Righteous Warrior's Guild? I had no idea.

"What's it stand for?" Lil asked.

"Really Wild Guys."

Lil walked away. I suddenly felt every age of my 41 years, and did not want to join a guild of young teenagers. I hit the Travel button--which allows you to teleport to other cities--and hoped that would be that.

But no. The guy followed me, wondering why I didn't want to join. I really didn't want to hurt his feelings, because he seemed very helpful, but there is no way in hell my Lil Lovecraft--4th level necromancer/mesmer--who looks so delightfully goth in her black and green bondage leather--is joining a guild called that. I respect my girl. If she's joining any guild, it'll be something like Sorrow of Death or Joy Division.

Finally, I just left the game, not wanting to say something hurtful. Which in MMOs, was probably a first.

It's About Time

For those of you akin to me in soul and hope, I'm sure you've already been here. If not, then go!

I hate people who give spoilers, but I will say only this: Season 3 is the strongest thus far in my opinion. And try not to miss The Runaway Bride, even though the CBC is putting it on at midnight. There is a scene in there that will make your jaw drop, then lead you to burst in laughter.

See that DWIN link at the bottom of the CBC page? I work for them. They my peeps.

My Pokemon Shame

So I'm not sure what's more sad: the fact that I'm about to turn 42 and that I spend precious minutes of my diminishing life playing Pokemon Diamond, or that I give each and every one of my Pokemons immature and adolescent nicknames?

Why do I still find it gigglingly amusing to call a Pokemon 'Douchebag'? Or Scumbucket? Surely, at this stage in my life, I can muster the maturity to call my Pokemon decent names. Like Nigel. Or Julian. Or perhaps, if I'm feeling fey, Anastasia?

I don't know. The decline of the North American male is a sad thing, indeed, especially when you're the one doing the declining.

Which is why I don't think about it, and instead focus on singing this song in the shower very, very loudly.

When Good Girls Go Black

COUNTDOWN #47

I have no idea what's going on in this book. Since this is now the only DC comic I get--and this book is designed for those who buy almost everything DC throws on the shelves--confusion is inevitable. Still, we must soldier on.

The issue starts with Jimmy Olson, so you know we're in trouble. He dreams that he ends up on the big wall in space where all cosmic baddies end up if they don't return their library books or something. Add to this that last issue he developed super speed, and earlier went all Elastic Lad, it's clear that he's somehow fucked up.

We then see Holly Johnson--who was Catwoman for a few months--come to Metropolis. For some reason, she leaves her cat o' nine tails hanging out of her bag as she wanders through a bus station. This causes a pimp to ask her to come work for him. She kicks him in the face, and no one does anything. Standards have fallen in Metropolis, apparently. Back in the day you couldn't even jaywalk without Superman whizzing down and waving his finger in your face.

Down the river in Gotham, Mary and Black Adam have a discussion about hope, which involves Adam grabbing Mary by the throat and slamming her into a wall. Well, what discussion about hope doesn't end that way? Then for some reason--and in a process I don't understand--Black Adam calls down the lightning and somehow transfers his Marvel power to Mary. His power must come part and parcel with a penchant for black goth clothing, because now Mary looks a goth princess. Adam leaves in his old Egyptian get up, making some cryptic comment about being 'sorry'. Yeah, sure he is. And he's really going to last more than five minutes wandering around Gotham in a skirt.

Out in space, the Monitors vote and decide they have to kill/remove/kick the asses of Jason Todd, Donna Troy and Kyle Rayner. Why? Because they are universe hoppers, and threaten THE EXISTENCE OF EVERYTHING. I think the Monitors even think in large caps. One tree hugging Monitor doesn't agree with this rather Republican approach, and looks shocked. I suspect he will try to save them. Just a hunch.

Okay, I can see Jason being an interloper, but I'm at a loss as to why Donna and Kyle are. I thought Donna was Wonder Woman now. And isn't Kyle out in space being Ion? I have no fucking idea what's going on. I need a drink and it's not even eleven o'clock in the morning.

As for the Rogues storyline, Trickster and Piper have a heart to heart while the other Rogues bang whores in a hotel room behind them. Okay, we don't actually see 'banging' per se, but I haven't written 'bang whores' in a very long time, and I kinda miss it. There. Out of my system. All we get from Trickster and Piper is that they're not really bad, but just kind of baddish. They see the Rogues as jokes, in a way, so it beats playing online poker.

Oh, and the story ends with the Amazons attacking Washington. Again, I have no idea why. I think--deep down--I don't care. Giant bunnies attacking Washington with laser carrots would be more acceptable at this point.

All in all--a bit of a mess. But nice cover. That I like.

Not Another MMO!

I've been debating setting up another blog solely dedicated to my gaming exploits, of which there are many and sundry. Full of heroism as well. But I"m too damn lazy, so I'll put them here. If you don't like it, then please feel free to go here.

Because it was cheap--and had no monthly fees-- I picked up Guild Wars. I've been reading a lot about it in the various magazines littering this house, and when I saw the price drop, I figured it was time to check it out. And yes--that's three MMOs right now. I have no friends, and this is why.

There are some cool things I've found with this game so far. The PCs are all human, for one thing: no dwarves, elves, gnomes, or gelflings. The character choices, while recognizable to anyone who has ever played any fantasy RPG, are tweaked enough to be intriguing. There are no wizards, for example--you can choose to be an elementalist, a mesmer (illusions), or a necromancer. If spellslinging ain't your thing, there is the tried and true classes of Ranger, Warrior, and Monk. Yes, Monk.

Whereas in World of Warcraft you choose your character type and stick with it, here you can take on a secondary profession. So last night I rolled up an Elementalist, but took on a secondary profession of Monk. So now I have magic, as well as most of the monk attributes. You can combine the characters in any way you like--I even took a Necromancer quest to get a cool Necromancer spell. It's an interesting tweak.

The game is a bit more limited than WoW in some regards--you can only have four characters, and you can't just run from one end of the world to the other like in Azeroth. When you leave a city, you enter into what is essentially a world instance, where there are no other players unless you teamed up with them in the city. That takes a bit of getting used to.

But visually, the game is perhaps even more refined than Warcraft, and seems to have the same amount of depth. I've only played for a few hours, but already today I spent far too much time thinking about it. I ran a quest into a catacombs last night, fighting skeletons while watching my health fade as I stood in diseased water--pretty exciting for a noob run.

So, guys: NO MONTHLY FEES.

Just saying.

They Want Me To Go To Rehab, I Said No No No

Okay, got through my first weekend of not having a ton of comics to get through. Instead, I spent the weekend reading the Call of Cthulu rulebook,



Ghost In The Shell (a very different story than the movie--the footnotes are just damn peculiar, from discussions on souls to the caliber of guns--and finally losing myself again in Snowcrash.



Oh. I also washed all my windows in the house. And created a new World of Warcraft character called Pipette. (She's a gnome warlock, because the idea of a semi-evil spellcaster who squeaks when hit and has to use a ladder to climb over a squirrel just appeals to me.)

And I also moved all of my comics down to the dungeon that is the basement.

Yep. Doing fine.

Tap tap tap tap.

Quantum LOL