I Read. Review. Repeat.

Countdown #51

What? Another weekly series? Oh, c'mon! I have RRSPs to consider putting money into! I need new socks! I haven't seen my special friend with the leather whip in months! How can I afford this when I can't afford those?

Ah well. Give in, Twist. Just fucking give in.

This time, we have one of my Writing Heroes of the Keyboard Pantheon, Paul Dini, at the head of the writing chores for the next year. So that's a good thing. As a first issue, this isn't bad, but neither is it jaw dropping, wet your pants great. Like the first issue it is, Dini sets about putting the pieces in play--which, oddly, so does Darkseid. Apparently, Old Grumblesocks has Heroclix of everyone in the DC Universe, which I'm assuming he spends a lot of time playing with on his dark throne on Apokolips. I mean, being an evil despot isn't all killing rebels and firing eye beams at some poor bastard. You gotta kick back some time.

Darkseid chooses Duala Dent as his Pokemon...I mean, action figure...and then we get to see her kidnap some teeny bopper. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Duala Dent. Apparently, she's not just crazy anymore--she's from an alternate earth. News to me. Okay, let's move on with that little nugget in our heads, because it becomes important in about a paragraph.

Enter Jason Todd, who now is good and rescues the teeny bopper. Again, I thought Jason was batshit, kind of DC Comic's version of the Punisher with a chamberpot on his head. Again, I missed a meeting. He chases Duela, who is also being pursued by a Monitor. Remember them from Crisis? Well, this Monitor blows Duela away for being on the wrong Earth. Another less rightwing, more immigration friendly Monitor shows up, and reads him the riot act. Then one of the Monitors goes to the Source Wall--which now separates the different universes (ummm...it just used to be the wall of the Known Universe, didn't it? Oh, my fucking head.)who tells him he has to find Ray Palmer. Okay, kinda cool, what with the Book of Daniel reference.

What else? Mary Marvel--who I adore, even if the artist here manages the impossible and makes her look frumpy--comes out of her coma. She says her magic word and nothing happens. I think that's because Captain Marvel--who now looks like Johnny Winter on steroids--is hogging all the magic. She heads off to find Captain Marvel Junior. Oh, and the Rogue's Gallery have a BBQ.

I enjoyed this, but it didn't blow me out of my seat and throw me into the laneway. Which is what I expect from any comic written by Paul Dini. Tons of geek material for shut-ins, though. Embrace it!



Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season Eight #3

Quick question: if you had to choose, and there were no takebacks, would you want Buffy for your girlfriend or Willow?

I'd choose Willow, even if she isn't really that big on the hetero coupling aspect of relationships anymore. I could live without nookie if it meant having a partner who was more of a geek than I was. I mean, what's more important? Six minutes of mattress gymnastics twice a week or nightly discussions of Doctor Who Season Two, the AC of dragonkin, or when and where the Shannara series began to suck?

Another fine issue, with a great Buffy cliffhanger. I do love me this comic.



The Incredible Hulk #106

I only picked this up because David did. But I probably would have picked it up anyway, once I saw it had She-Hulk in it. With a torn T-shirt. And a coyote pup in a leather jacket. No, not wearing a leather jacket--actually hiding in one. It's so cute.

As for She-Hulk, I do know I have certain tastes in heroines. Some people like kicks to the face and polar bears being punched. Me, I like curvy heroines who will have back problems in their later years. Power Girl, Ms. Marvel, Nigella Lawson- I adore them all. So give me She-Hulk in tight jeans and a torn T-shirt and I'll be there. Especially when she punches Doc Samson into the next county.

Oh, yeah. Greg Pak can write pretty good, too.



Hellboy: Darkness Calls #1

Tombs in Italy. Corpses walking around in nighttime English forests. A sparrow that might be God. A demon who smokes cigars half listening to other demons giving history lessons. Oh, and more corpses coming out of the ground.

Sigh.

Good times.



Nova #2

Again, I blame David for me picking this up. I also wanted to be the one who bought the last issue so it would be sold out. I also blame my love for any B-character from the Seventies. If they brought back the Shogun Warriors, I'd be all about that, too.

The fact that it's also written by Abnett and Lanning also helps, since I adored their Legion work (I'm still pissed that their entire Legion Lost was ended in one panel in Infinite Crisis--no wonder they're working at Marvel now). Abnett's Warhammer novels are also very good, so if he can make those work, you know the man is a miracle worker. And he and Lanning bring the magic here as well.

The joy here is that they've made Richard Rider a believable guy. Yeah, he's pretty much the Marvel equivalent of the Green Lantern Corps bundled into one man, but he's also still very much a guy you could have a beer with. Or talk about how awesome She-Hulk is.

Here, Nova returns to Earth to find it's all gone to hell. His friends in the New Warriors are dead, his parents aren't too pleased to see him, and he learns first hand Tony Stark is a dick. He also learns that even though he saved the universe, no one really cares about that, either. Man, can I relate. Even when he saves the local populace from the horror and terror that is Diamondhead, he gets hassle. And he gets the Thunderbolts on his ass.

But the biggest cool thing here? Nova's helmet. How does that work? It looks like it's metal, but when he takes it off, it's like cloth. WTF? I'll be thinking about that all night.