A Rare Moment

Here's a rare moment: Julius actually spending time with me. For the most part, Julius glares at me like I'm something he found rotting in the garden, and has inherited from Pagan the habit of cleaning himself immediately if I ever dare to pet him. But every now and again, the little bastard decides to bite the bullet and let me hold him.

I think this lasted all of eight seconds. Then it was back to Julius being Julius, as he went out to 'fix' my brakes.

Build-Up To The Letdown

I guess my Facts and Arguments article is in tomorrow's Globe and Mail. Looking forward to seeing the illustration. I hope it involves a duck.

Tomorrow also begins my sure-to-be-short run on the Free Press 'Inkblog' part of the opinion pages. This means I have to pull 170 words out of my backside every day about stuff that happened that day. The deal is that three columnists take a turn in some form of weekly rotation , filing columns for five days. I give myself a week before they ask me to move on, because I really can't do the whole political thing. Why? Because I just don't care. So we'll see how this goes.

Wrote a piece for hot gorgeous babe Vanessa Brown today for her zine, The Freeps. She loved it, so I'm hoping I'll at least get a hug. I've heard that Mythmakers is shipping in July, which is shocking to me, since I'm still pounding out my contribution. I could have worked on it last night, but got lost playing Forza Motorsports. It's astounding how much I well and truly suck at any game that involves sports or driving. Or swords. Or laser guns. If there's a game that involves cooking spaghetti, I'd probably burn the virtual water.

Been Caught Readin', Once When I Was Five

To my horror, I think I have to start exercising again. Yes, how is it that a man who weighs 130 lbs and has the body of Bruce Lee would need to exercise? But sadly, tis true. I feel blah. So I think it's back to the dojo tomorrow. Bloody hell. Two hours of getting my ass kicked and praying for death. Can't wait!

So, been reading. Finished Steve Erikson's
Gardens of The Moon, and was fairly impressed. This is the beginning of a undoubtedly massive fantasy series that has managed to keep me fascinated from the first pages. What I enjoyed was how he managed to truly fuck around with fantasy conventions ( I like his magic system, for instance), mixing up the affairs of gods, soldiers, assassins, and spoilt brats into one very believable world. Here, the gods are just as fallible as the humans beneath them, and as often as bloody terrified. His work is grim--there are some moments of violence that made me go 'Oh,fuck !'--and I've read George R. R. Martin. Erikson is brave enough to do things that most authors--and agents, and marketing directors--would blanche at. If I had a quibble, it was that a few times, we learned aspects of magic that we didn't know before just as it manifested in time to redirect the plot. I know if Erikson sat down and gave us forty pages of 'How Magic Works In My World', readers would howl. But that's my only quibble. I'll take a break before I head into the second book, Deadhouse Gates, but unlike many fantasy series, I will be heading to the next volume.

Read a few decent comics as well. Green Lantern #11 was a surprising good read, with a great last page cliffhanger. I've gone off my adoration of Geoff Johns of late, considering the mess of Infinite Crisis and the widely held belief that he's spreading himself too thin, but this was a solid, well crafted story. Here, Hal Jordan heads off to try and rescue some of the Lanterns he thought he'd killed as his time as Parallax--against the wishes of the Guardians (or 'Smurfs', as Guy Gardner calls them.) He even lies to Gardner about having permission. Johns has said he's trying to combine the characters of Chuck Yeager and Han Solo in this new incarnation of Hal Jordan--and here at least, the Solo aspect comes off. A good read.

After the rather humdrum New Avengers #18, things look up in New Avengers #19. Bendis shows how S.H.I.E.L.D. casually works over Spider-Man, essentially torturing him for information, an act that Captain America is (currently) unable to fight against, considering the political climate and the fact some psycho is about to destroy the world. The story ties into the last year's House of M --which I didn't read--and the current Civil War--which I am, and loving. This issue feels like it's building to something rather large, but then, shouldn't all good comics feel that way?

Not really much to say about Daredevil #85, other than it's wonderful. Dardevil, Kingpin and the Punisher all in prison together? Nuff, as they say, said.

Ed Brubaker and Steve Epting launch a new storyline in Captain America #18 entitled Twenty First Century Blitz, which looks very promising. It takes place in London, England, with Cap and members of the Invaders battling a new Nazi Master Race of apparent super soldiers. Epting's pencils really catch the gloom of a fogbound London, and Brubaker masterfully threads elements of the Bucky storyline and the eventual return of the Red Skull into this as well. It's hard to say how good it is to read a Captain America book that isn't clunky or sickeningly patriotic. I have friends who refuse to read this book because of the title, as if by reading it they're somehow approving of the Bush Administration. Well, read the damn book. Everyone knows that the best Captain America books have always been written by liberals. One of comics' best kept little secret ironies.

Oh--am happy to hear that Joss Whedon is going to present Season 8 of Buffy The Vampire Slayer in a Dark Horse mini-series. Whedon is one of comic's best writers--his Astonishing X-Men is the best the franchise has seen since Grant Morrison's run, and his Fray mini-series--about a futuristic Slayer--really deserves a movie treatment. This is good, happy, geek news.

Rise of The Cybermen

I have to admit: I'm not among those clamouring for the return of old Who villians. I mean, sure, the Daleks are good since they are such a good commentary on fascism--and they're so ridiculous that they can't help but be classic. I haven't really felt the same way about the Cybermen--sure, they're interesting and very much part of Doctor Who history, but enough has been said. Marc Platt's superb Big Finish audio, Spare Parts, which looked at the Cybermen as the end result of endless mechanical transplants for citizens of a dying world, seemed the final word.

And so we come to Rise of the Cybermen. Ostesibly based and/or inspired by Spare Parts, this episode can't help but pale in light of the stellar previous episodes--and it does. It comes across as standard Doctor Who--there are monsters, there is a problem, but there isn't the emotional weight and connection we've seen in previous episodes.

To its credit, Rise does take some surprising shifts. The story takes place on a parallel Earth, one in which the Doctor, Rose and Mickey find themselves when the Time Vortex mysteriously disappears. (Nice image of the TARDIS crashing to Earth, with oxygen masks falling from the ceiling.) On this Earth, the rich live in zepplins floating above the planet, while the hoi polloi scrabble below. The Cybermen come about as the bog standard evil inventor wants to invent a body to store human brains--especially his, since he's about to shuffle off this mortal coil. Homeless people serve as his Cyber-army at first, but he's got bigger plans, since he's an evil inventor. It's what they do.

Where this episode first steps wrong is in having Rose's parallel version of her parents figure so strongly. Rose's issues with her father were dealt with very well in last season's Father's Day---there was no reason to revisit it. And why her parents would have to be so important in a parallel world when they're relative nobodies in Rose's dimension just isn't all that imaginative. (Granted, it does help drive home the idea of a 'parallel world' in one that doesn't look all that different outside of the zeppelins and everyone wearing nefarious ear pieces, but I wish they'd taken another tact.)

As for the Cybermen, they have been upgraded. Sadly, their legs look like steel bell bottoms. And as one alert viewer pointed out on Outpost Gallifrey, their feet metallically clang if they're walking on grass, gravel, or wooden floors. Heh. And instead of shooting people like classic Cybermen, they just grab you and electrocute your bones. Me, I like my Cyber-army with guns, and not killer massages.

The Doctor plays a small role here, which is another problem. In a season that is actively embracing its past, the Doctor really should have twigged to the Cyber threat far earlier than he did. The majority of the focus is on Rose and Mickey--the latter at least deepens the character, while the former just feels like a retread.

So, in the end, an average Who, since we've spoiled so far this season by pure gems. Still enjoyable, still has a few very clever scenes and laughs, but not as amazing as it could have been.

Reason To Keep Living Number 43

I love Final Fantasy.

I love System of a Down.

And that's why I simply adore this.

Birds, Cats and Bats

So I'm addicted to Gotham's night life, and have been since I was four. Here's what I think about what happened in that hellish city that may either be in New York or New Jersey, depending on what DC Comics editor you ask.

BATMAN/DETECTIVE COMICS

These two books have been running a single, 8 part storyline the past two months--Face The Face. It's part of that whole One Year Later thing regular readers know I just love. Essentially, this story is showing us what Gotham looks like after Batman took a year off to find himself and possibly take up crocheting.

To this jaded reader, the new Batman looks an awful lot like the Seventies Batman. Gone is the dire FORCE OF JUSTICE driving aspect of his character, replaced by a Batman who works happily alongside Robin, gives compliments, and talks about how he 'needs hope'. I suspect group hugs will soon follow.

To be fair, this story is something Batman stories haven't been in a long time: it's pleasant.. Even though the story deals with the assassination of several Z-rate villians (all from the late Eighties and Nineties, when the Batman titles were terribly adrift, unable to decide if they were following the grim militaristic tone set by Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns or aping previous eras, or remembering that Batman is supposed to be a detective, and actually solves crimes instead of just beating the living shit out of people), it's not like anyone actually likes the villians being shot. I mean, KGBeast? Mockingbird? The ever crappy Ventriliqist? Who gives a flying? They were embarassing back then, and it's nice to see DC Comics getting rid of them.

So, bereft of a compelling story, we just sit back and enjoy seeing this new Gotham. Batman forgiving Harvey Bullock for being a dirty cop. Nice shots of the Batplane. Batman working in the Batcave. It's all very familiar and comforting, like an old blanket. And I can see it getting old very, very fast.

ROBIN #149--Assault on Precinct Nine

The joy at actually having a Robin comic that doesn't cause internal bleeding continues with the sophomore issue. But it also slips a bit, but not enough to cause loss of blood. New writer Adamm Beechen thankfully writes Robin as a sixteen year old boy still trying to prove himself, and not as the all wise forty year old in a teen's body that Geoff Johns tends to favour. The story deals with Robin being implicated in the apparent murder of Batgirl (but in fact it was actuallly another Z-rater called Lynx--don't worry, I've never heard of her either), with the Teen Wonder breaking into the local cop shop to get the dead Batgirl's costume. Because he needs clues and stuff.

Beechen has Robin spouting one liners like a certain wall crawler at times, and it's not hard to see the Spider-Man influence. The story also seems to be part of a much larger League of Assassins storyline, with Lady Shiva herself making an appearance. Seems like this story is going global. That's also welcome in the Robin title--even though Robin often travels to other planets and dimensions over in Teen Titans, his own book has often been a bit more urban and less sci-fi. I'm curious as to how this will play out. And I love those R-darts the Teen Wonder throws. Gotta get me some of those.

CATWOMAN #54--The Replacements, Part Two

Selina is still a mom, and Holly is still getting beat up by the Angle. Oh, wait, now she's kicked his ass. AND it's been filmed by some guy with a vidcam. AND it's now on late night television. AND we still don't know who the father of Selina's baby Helena is.

I loved this issue, and I adore Will Pfeifer's run on this title. Of course, we're supposed to think Batman is the dad, because we're geeks and know that on Earth-2, Batman and Catwoman married and had a baby called Helena. But it was Slam Bradley's son, only because he's dead.

Sure, it's only a matter of time before a)Selina becomes Catwoman again, b)gives her baby away, or c)the baby dies. Only lower rate heroes like Arsenal can be parents. The top line heroes in DC Comics can only have children that they adopt as sidekicks. Everyone knows that. Still, this is a good, solid book.

BIRDS OF PREY #93--Progeny, Part Two

I always think this book is going to be cancelled. The writer, Gail Simone, is getting more and more high level assignments at DC. The story arcs she writes always seem ready to end the series. The idea that a comic based solely on female characters can continue without being axed seems inevitable. But it's still here. And I'm thankful for that.

We're still dealing with whatever arrangement Lady Shiva and Black Canary worked out--essentially, they trade existences (Shiva works with the Birds, Canary undergoes the same brutal martial arts training Shiva underwent in Asia), while the rest of the Birds try and protect Crime Doctor from the League of Evil Badasses he's currently defected from. Huntress is wonderful, the scene with Shiva climbing on top of a speeding car and leaping to take down aerial pursuers is just too damn cool for words, and I'll always love Barbara Gordon, even if I fear she's about to become the new Batwoman. And having a bratty teenager look at the Birds and proclaim "Oh, look. It's half a six-pack of hookers. How sweet." was just the cherry on the comic cake.

So of my four Gotham books, Birds was the best, Catwoman came in second, Robin was third, and big daddy Bats had better surprise me, and soon. If the villian turns out to be Two Face, I'm gonna scream. Maybe even write something nasty on the Bat-Signal. You know I will.

It's Time The Lonely Boy Learned To Dance

Even Neil Gaiman thought The Girl In The Fireplace was lovely. And it so was.

To me, the best time travel stories are the ones that acknowledge the inherent sadness involved. Stories like Richard Matheson's Bid Time Return, Tim Powers' The Anubis Gates, and-- to get more Doctor Who-specific-- Justin Richards' The Sands of Time--although that one was ruined by a wonky ending. Here, The Girl In The Fireplace doesn't step wrong, beautifully evoking the deep sadness of time travel, of how even without meaning to, you always leave someone behind.

The script is by Steve Moffat, who gave us perhaps last season's greatest stories: The Empty Child and The Doctor Dances. Here, he makes quiet references to those stories, both through the goofy fun of the Doctor's apparent fascination with bananas, and with the more tricker area of the Doctor 'dancing'. ('Dancing' being a euphemism for sex, dontcha know.) It's just plain good writing, held up by solid direction by Euros Lyn and the usual stellar cast.

The Girl In The Fireplace is very much a story about discovery, both for the characters and the viewer, so I won't spoil it here. But I'm with Neil: this story deserves a Hugo. At the very least.

An Apology, and A Round-Up!

I have been brought to task by famed English conspiracy author, David Southwell. Once upon a time, I had the great misfortune to write a book with him. In that time, he has now become famous and hobnobs with the great. I, on the other hand, write this blog. Still, he demands I apologize for saying that Marvel's Civil War would be a piece of dog doo. In fact, it was one of the best comics I've read in awhile. So to that end, I now say that DAVID WAS RIGHT AND I WAS WRONG. Public enough for you, Master Southwell? Go back to your publishing parties and groupies, and leave me to my loneliness and video games. Sniff.

Speaking of lonely endeavours, I've read some comics. Here are my thoughts.

GI JOE: AMERICA'S ELITE #11

--I have a deep fondness for comics based on toys. Two of my favourite comics growing up were Micronauts and Shogun Warriors, written respectively by Bill Mantlo and Doug Moench. With Micronauts, Mantlo managed to create a space opera that rivalled Star Wars in terms of pure adolescent excitement, and combined with the magnificent artwork of Michael Golden, the first twelve issues of this series was pure comic heaven. With Warriors, Moench gave a rather clumsy idea--three people operating giant robots, fighting evil--and made it work. (I still insist his work there can be seen influencing current anime like Dai-Guard.)

At its core,what I like most about good toy comics is something I try to do with my own work: making something substantial out of the instantly dismissable.

Which brings us to Devil's Due work on G.I. Joe. This is a very decent military comic that while not being as graphic as the current war comics that Garth Ennis is producing, still manages to be a little more adult than you would expect from a Hasbro licenced toy line. The script is by Joe Casey, who has done some very decent work for DC. Here, the Joes are searching for the body of Snake-Eyes, who'se monitor is now showing signs of life. Joes Scarlet, Storm Shadow, Stalker, Kamakura, Roadblock and Shipwreck find Snake-Eyes--but they also find killer ninjas. And I'm not sure if you've experienced that, but running into ninjas--especially ones all dressed in red--always ends badly. Bloody red ninjas. I remember once I went for some milk, and there was this red ninja just being a jerk ahead of me in line. Goes to show.

Of course, if you've never played with G.I. Joes or watched the campy TV series, this means nothing to you. But it's easy to get caught up with the story, since Devil's Due goes out of its way to bring you up to speed. (As well, they recently published a 25 cent special edition that sets up the next big storyline--the search for Cobra Commander--and gives summations of the past ten issues. It's appreciated.)

So while the art may not be the high end work you find over at Marvel or DC, G.I. Joe: America's Elite still manages to be what many of the bigger comics can't manage: it's exciting. It's fun. And it's good to support smaller publishers.

And speaking of the big publishers....

OUTSIDERS #36--The Good Fight Part Three

Sigh. For some reason, DC is still labelling all it's post-Infinite Crap comics with the One Year Later logo circle. But since this is the second month since the Big IC, shouldn't the logo read One Year And One Month Later? I know, I know: shut up.

This issue pretty much is just one large fight between the now global Outsiders and the myterious speedster they encounter in the African nation of Mali. As a result, the edgy energy of seeing the team in their role of...well, whatever the hell they are now is lost in a basic punch up. In classic comic book tradition, each team member gets their own page or two to go it alone against this mysterious black clad baddie (I liked the nice Cylon red eye effect on the costume, the light bleed as he races by very cool). Each member fares thus: Nightwing is picked up and dropped in the middle of a small army, taking him out of the fight. Grace gets her face punched to pulp ('Always the face. Why do these douchebags always mess up the face?" she asks. Heh.) Katana gets her blade taken from her, her costume ripped in the back (which just seemed an excuse for a bum shot of our favourite ninja), and then conked out with her own sword. Metamorpho is spun into a tornado. In the end, it takes Captain Boomerang, Thunder, and Metamorpho turning into a chemical compound composed of thirty percent hydrolic acid to take the guy down. And then we discover? What? What? That he's....a younger version of Jay Garrick, the first Flash. Clone? Time travel? Or is it another....CRISIS?

Oh, please, no.

All in all, a decent issue. A few questions arise, outside of the Jay Garrick thingie. Like--where are Arsenal and Captain Marvel Junior? ( I know Judd Winick--the writer of Outsiders is doing the new Trials of Shazam! book, so maybe the answer is there. But still, I can't afford any more books.)Captain Boomerang was a speedster before IC, but isn't now. Is that because the Speed Force is gone? Are Metamorpho and he lovers?

Still feeling the Outsiders love, but I want answers that don't require me buying more books. I know, I know: I'm old fashioned that way.

Okay, So I Got Snuffly

Doctor Who continues to be...well, just awesome. This episode--'School Reunion'--which gave us the reunion between Sarah Jane Smith and the Doctor was everything I could have hoped for. The final scene between the Doctor and Sarah Jane? Okay, I got snuffly. There was just a little bit of tears. Not a lot, 'cause I'm old and scarred and cynical as hell, but a bit.

And there was also K-9. This episode should have been utter pants with all this old retro material thrown in, but it was the opposite of that. Which is--of course--awesome.

Civil War--Or: Not Another Miniseries

Now, I said I wasn't going to buy Civil War. But I did, and I read it. And you know what? It rocks.

I'm still trying to wipe the taste of Infinite Crisis out of my mouth--the bitter taste of having dropped over forty dollars on a series that--to my mind--did nothing to change the DC Comics Universe at all . That wouldn't have been so bad if the story had been entertaining. But it wasn't. It read like a story written by marketers, terrified of upsetting the apple cart that pays their mortgages, but pretending to tip it all the same.

So here comes Civil War. And in the first ten pages, there is more drama and actual movement that anything we saw in DC's latest offering. The idea--that the New Warriors, in trying to boost ratings for their reality television show about being super heroes, accidentally cause the death of over eight hundred schoolchildren, as well as getting themselves killed in the process (goodbye Speedball and Namorita, you poor bastards!)--causes the Bush administration to table a super hero Registration act.

The idea being that if you fight crime and wear a mask, you sign up to be a federal employee. You give up your identity to the government, and sign up for training as well. All in the name of public safety. Some heroes are down with it--like Iron Man. Others are not. Among them--surprisingly--is Captain America. By the end of this first chapter, Captain America is a fugitive from the government, with asskissers like Iron Man promising to bring him down.

This was some damn fine comic book. Beautiful art by Steve McNiven, and a very smart and moving script by Mark Millar. Sure, this being an American comic company, there are...let me count...I believe SEVENTY THREE spin off comics alongside this seven issue miniseries, so to follow all of it makes you either very wealthy or very stupid. But I hope the main series keeps it pure. Because it would be a shame not to.

Along with books like Ultimate Fantastic Four, The Ultimates, Ultimate Extinction, and Runaways, it's no wonder Marvel Comics is now the company getting the largest chunk of my paycheque. A golden age? Maybe not, but definitely a much *smarter* age.

Quiet Fanfare

Yay, me.

Sold an article to a major national Canadian newspaper. And in what has to be a first, the editor asked me to 'add a few paragraphs.' I never hear that. I only usually hear demands to make columns shorter. I'm still in shock.

Tomorrow is Free Comic Book Day, so I may pull myself out of this collapsing pile of books, video games and cat toys and scour the city with the other geeks. I had fun last year. I also have several comics to pour through this weekend that weren't free, sadly: books like Shonen Jump, (which Cheryl bought for me, the dear thing) and Civil War, that latest Marvel Comics miniseries which I swore I wasn't going to buy, until I realized it was written by Mark Millar, so I had to. I also have Infinite Crisis to get through, which I'm not looking forward to. That has been one craptastic waste of dead trees, and I ain't holding up hope that it's going to suddenly get better in the final issue.

Will also work on 'Cuddles', and hope to have that done soon. Will actually act my age and do some gardening, and maybe, just maybe, return to play some more Morrowind. (Currently 9th level Khajit assassin, having cleared out my first tomb of ghosts and animated skeletons. I love how when you kill an insubstantial ghost, they still manage to drop their belongings in a small cloth bag. Who knew ghosts carried bags? Is that why they wear long robes, to hide their bags? Maybe they're Scottish ghosts or something.)

Ghost In The Shell is playing behind me, and I think I'll pour myself something red and watch it.