It's one of those days when I think I really should have finished university, gone to teacher's college, and got myself locked into a teaching job that--as everyone knows--destroys your soul but guarantees you one helluva pension.
Spent the weekend with my fellow non-degree refugees: we all have extremely dead end jobs (one just had her entire department wiped out due to budget cuts, finding out--as everyone always does--on a Friday). My one friend has managed to land a job at a grad school in Vancouver, and she's doing filing and documentation for additional dosh. She's the luckiest of all, but then, it's more a decent working environment rather than a Scrooge McDuck paycheque. The idea that any of us could retire--let alone take a vacation--is laughable. We all live in dire terror of pet illness, car trouble, or house repairs. When a teacher friend asked me to meet up with him in New York next month, he seemed perplexed as to why I couldn't. It just baffled him. Surely I had a few thousand or so sitting in the bank, didn't I?
Funny old world. And it's just made worse when I hear that a writer for a local video game making company--one that makes a very popular fighting game--is apparently being 'troublesome' and doesn't do second drafts, all while being paid $200,000 a year.
Funny. Old. World.
But enough moaning. I am on vacation--and I've managed to empty enough jeans to go rent a movie. No idea what to see. Go for the lechery of Underworld: Kate's Leather Clad Ass or do I finally give in and watch Narnia? Decisions, decisions. If only my tape of Doctor Who: Season Two--procured by fellow Time Lord devotees in Toronto--would arrive. Sigh. If only.
3 comments:
I hear ya, Brother. I opted for the Community College route and got a 3-year diploma which, admittedly, served me well for awhile. But I do regret the lack of a university degree because, in hindsight, it offers 'options'. It does seem to matter (like when a 43 year old guy thinks about chucking it all for teacher's college - another story...).
Anyways, here's the Dirty Secret. Most jobs - a vast majority even - are pretty dead-end. Me, I'm a corporate IT automaton. I'm with the Borg, and we're a very unhappy lot. Want soul destroying? Spending any time in cubical farm dealing with 'process', outsourcing, right-sizing, visioning, paradigm shifts, and all the while younger versions of 'You' come in a neverending stream full of misplaced ambition and real, live, current skills.
The thing is, everyone is running hard towards the dead-end. My circle of friends include corporate-types, skilled tradesmen, grocery store clerks, fast food managers, labourers - a real eclectic mix. We all have different sand in our gears, but the machinery is still out to crush the life out of us.
So what to do? How to cope? I guess we need to try to avoid defining ourselves by our jobs, what we
'do', what we missed. Maybe we take risks. Maybe we think bigger than we are. It's scary, though, and requires you to sometimes look out the corner of your eye in just the right way. For me, I try to concentrate on a life well-lived, and I keep buying lottery tickets.
Oh, and try Narnia. I never read the books - they just weren't my cuppa. But the movie was surprisingly well-done, I think.
Thanks, CL. I thought about deleting that post because it sounded so oh-so-fucking-woe is me, but I let it stand.
You're right: we're all in the soul destroying job gutter, staring at the stars. Like everyone, I just get a bit down. But you're right--just keep going. Things could always be worse. I could be in Lebanon, seeing my house bombed to shit. Nothing like watching BBC World News for ten minutes to get perspective.
As for teacher's college, a friend of mine--47--quit his job and starts in September. So it can be done.
I opted for both Narnia (haven't seen it yet) and 'Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic'.
I think I'm in love. Fucksakes, that woman is funny. And I say 'fucksakes' with all intended white trash irony.
Hey KD,
I have been thinking about this post for a while, as I have been in the same mental state. Although I did finish university, I still go through the "oh crap, what have I done" phase every two weeks. So here is the funny (sad) tale. I had dinner with some high school friends last month, and they all seemed, or were, more successful, thinner, or happier than me. Some were all three. The lawyers and doctors were really irritating, even though those careers were always beyond my talents and temperament. Regardless, I was mad that I wasn't as well off as my "traditional" friends.
Yesterday I looked up a friend of mine from BC. He is working at a community college in Nanaimo, leading classes in hiking, snowboarding, surfing and telemark skiing. All things we trained for together back in 93. So now I am mad that I am not successful like my non-traditional friend. I seem to have not chosen money or fun as a career choice. Maybe this is why I spent so much time with a new comic book database yesterday - the white noise blocks out negative thoughts.
I guess I choose to laugh at myself , because after years of felt-board lessons, and Sesame Street skits, I still can't help but feel envy and jealousy.
So to quote crazylegs "We all have different sand in our gears, but the machinery is still out to crush the life out of us."
All true, but if you can, buy the machinery and the gears. No matter how small the enterprise, if it is yours, you will leap out of bed in the morning and sing the praise of every penny earned. For me, it has made all the difference.
Well. Um, O.K. I think the Superman titles from 1975-1977 were really sad and badly written. I'll be over in the corner if you need me.
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