So it's been two months since I fired up Animal Crossing. Sue me. I have a life that doesn't involve spending my days getting bells to pay off that extortionist racoon, Tom Nook. So when I turned the game back on after all this time, I wondered what I would find. I was rather hoping for a nuclear wasteland, with zombie animals lurching about.
No such luck.
What I did find was everyone in my little town of Dorkia thinks I'm a jerk. "Where have you been?" I was asked by Pearl, the passive aggressive cat who suspiciously lives alone. "I hope you're all rich now," she sneered.When I met Snork, he acted like I was a complete stranger, asking me what right I had to just enter his house unannounced. Then it was big drama when he 'remembered' who I was. What.A.Jerk. And if that wasn't bad enough, he went and painted the roof of my house pink. After I'd paid Nook 750 bells to paint it blue. Flush go those bells!
Speaking of my house--it was infested with cockroaches. Had to stomp all of them out, seeing their little ghost cockroach selves float away up into the ceiling. Like no one could check in and give the place a sweep while I was gone. Bunch of dillweeds.
Hopper had moved away while I was gone, but I could have cared less. Never liked him. A squirrel called Peanut has moved in, and already was dealing on me, calling me a 'slacker'. Groucho--the eternally grumpy bear--asked me if I was going to 'do some work for a change'. And Cheri? Don't even get me started. It's like she's gone off whatever meds she was forgetting to take. One second she's chirping at me for being gone so long, and the next she's crying because she thinks her youth is gone. And they wonder why in hell I left?
Animal Crossing. There's no cartoon animal world like it.
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